Monday, April 25, 2011

Excitement, Depression, Impatience, Hope



The more I think about being a filmmaker, I feel both excitement and depression rising in sufficient amounts to all but cancel each other out. Excitement because of the stories I'll tell, the power of the moving image, the breathtaking visuals I will compose. Depression because of the high expense associated with the telling.

For a wannabe indie filmmaker, money is a big thing. Anything I do will be either self-financed or financed by a small number of contributors giving very modest sums. That's hard for me, because the stories I want to tell tend to be epic. Like, the original meaning of the word epic. But whatever I do not already have, I have to buy. Which right now, is just about everything. And it can be hard to work creatively when it's one guy and a camera. Heck, I'm blessed to even have a consumer camcorder with which to work.

But I know that God has promised to work all things for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28 NIV). God has set me on this path, and I will walk it, for better or for worse. It may take me years before I can begin to tell the stories I want. It may take me many more years before I can effectively tell the stories I want. Rome wasn't built in a day. And God's times are not my times.

Lord, help me to be patient, to wait on Your provision, and to seek Your will every day of my life.

~ Tommy

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